Katherine
Christmas is simultaneously sort of OK and the absolute worst. It’s OK because there are presents and food and a few people I like but don’t get to see the rest of the 365 (I c u bro and cool aunt and uncle and bb cuz). Also, my mom hooked me up with some pine-scented potpourri, so that’s nice. It’s the worst because I’m confronted with all my greatest social anxieties—like going to the mall and talking to people.
I went to the mall the other day to do all of my Christmas shopping. That doesn’t stress me out, because I always wait until the last minute, but ohmygod the mall you guys. Young children ran rampant, screaming and crying or just being brats while waiting in line to see the mall Santa. And I wasn’t in a hurry or anything, but people at the mall do this thing where they walk muuccchh slower than they would anywhere else. Or maybe slow walkers like the mall? Idk but it’s kind of stressful because you start to feel like you’re following people. And that’s creepy. At the Gap, I knocked over (and broke) a display. I helped clean it up before running out as fast as I could. At another store, some Grinch-butt yelled at me for taking too much time paying at the cash register, and at yet another, I set off the alarms because a censor was still attached to something I had bought. This things aren’t actually stressful or bad in and of themselves, but they made the stress I normally feel going out in public that much worse.
Thank goddess that is over, but now I face three back-to-back days of constant socialization. Some of it will be chill—going to my grandmother’s house on Christmas Eve is consistently the best—but the rest makes me nervous and grumpy. And when I’m grumpy, it’s hard for me to talk to people, which makes me nervous, which makes me very unpleasant to be around, which in turn makes me even grumpier. It’s a vicious circle—a vicious wreath, if you will.
I don’t know how I’m going to make it through all that. Maybe I can make a cardboard cut-out of myself that says things like “My grades are passing” or “That new Christmas sweater is really working for you” and send it to all these events in my place. (It will likely have better conversational skills than I.) Or maybe I can fake an eggnog-induced coma on Christmas day. But if anyone asks, you know nothing of this. ♦
omg britney i am so ANGRY and so sorry that that had to happen to you. that is pure cruelty and it beyond disgusting and i wish i could have been there to let all those people know what awful human beings they are
Log in to replyNaomi, you are beautiful. I loved what you wrote and I relate!
Ruby, that sounds wonderful. I hope your vacation is the best thing ever.
yeah Britney that is truly awful. I am so sorry you had to deal with such close-mindedness.
Log in to replyNaomi,
Log in to replyI agree that men can be repellant but there are amazing, cool, fascinating guys that aren’t always reminding you through their actions that they are the other gender. I hope you meet them!
naomi’s entry could have been taken from my journal. try as i might to keep holding on to the “people are people” mindset, every guy i interact with eventually proves to be a condescending, sexist jerk. someone please tell me, do non-terrible guys exist or is that just a myth?
britney, i am so sorry you had to deal with those jerks. *hugs* their behavior only proves that yes, we do still need feminism.
Log in to replyi find myself feeling physically ill over what those awful people said and did to you Britney.
but, lady, keep your head up and like blast them all away with your feminist furies because no one deserves to be treated how they treated you. n if you’re opposed to blasting people away with yr feminist furies i’ll summon some angry suffragettes or somethin’ up and send ‘em your way so they can do it for you.
Log in to replyI volunteer to be part of this blasting team.
Log in to replySame here.
Log in to replyI would join in a second :)
Log in to replyJeez, Brittany I’m so sorry you had to go through something like that. People can be so cruel. I’m so used to people making awful comments about my feminism that I instinctively scream at them at this point and show them my feminist fury (grrrrrrr, can’t you see me growling through my computer screen). In short I’m so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could have told those jerks off for you.
Log in to replyOnce I was carrying this book I was reading about distorted body image, and my entire class yelled at me because supposedly, “everyone makes such a big deal about that stuff when really, companies need those models to sell out.” UGHHHHHHHHH….
I’m so sorry that that had to happen to you, Britney. You are all wonderful!!!
Log in to replyThank you guys SO much for all your support. All of you are awesome. <3
Log in to replyUghhh Ruby, I feel you. I’m a 9th grader too, and for me, school is already a whirlwind of numbness and physical/emotional exhaustion. I just feel like everything is something I have to get through.
And Britney, wow, I am so sorry that happened to you. I wish some of us (or better, all of us!) could have been there to tell them off. You don’t deserve to have to deal with such astounding ignorance, idiocy, and cruelty. Stay strong, girl. We’re all here for you!
Log in to replyBritney, I am sososo sorry.. giving you internet hugs right now. that totally sucks that that happened but hey, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger ;)
Log in to replyAww, Britney I’m so sorry that happened. I know what it’s like to be teased for your reading choices. Also, I’ve found that in moments where everyone seems to be turning on you it is extremely difficult to put together an eloquent, calm response. But as Tina Fey wrote “Some people say, ‘Never let them see you cry.’ I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”
Log in to replyThat quote is perfect! It seriously sums up what happened.
Log in to replyNaomi–way to literally speak my mind on the whole boy thing…i have such a weird relationship with the opposite gender, mostly because i’ve never been in a real straight relationship (even though i am mostly straight) and the majority of my guy friends are gay. it’s kind of like i’ve never really had the opportunity to see your average teenage guy as a full human being, so i just don’t? it makes me feel like a huuuge asshole.
Britney–i feel you SO MUCH. i became a feminist in middle school too (8th grade, i think?) and i would get TONS of crap for it, a lot of people saying i was a lesbian and stuff, ya know. i still get the “oh god, here she goes” and the eye rolls during class discussions sometimes, but i think you’ll find that as you get older more people begin to embrace feminism or at least respect it. so i try not to let it bother me because all my friends/the guys i hook up with think feminism is cool and that’s all that matters to me :)
Log in to replyBritney, I love you and I wish you were my little sister so that I could pick you up from school with pliers and Vaseline at the ready! You are ‘a rose in the barrel of an AK47′ and you need not be reminded of your courage.
Also; ‘The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, “It’s a girl.” ~Shirley Chisholm’
And that’s why we need feminism! Keep your head up princess, your crown is falling!
Log in to replyNaomi I am mentally going through the exact same thing, guys are truly confusing creatures.
Log in to replyIt’s funny, I only discovered feminism in March and this year I’ve gone from one of those annoying fauxminists who says, ‘We’re not all hairy-legged man-haters!’ to BECOMING a hairy-legged man-hater. And I love it, really. Well, I don’t. I often get tired of constantly defending and speaking up and opposing and all the arguing. I sometimes think whether it would be easier to just become apolitical and not care about anything, but I feel I have a duty to do what I can and also feminism helped me with my confidence and esteem and I’ve helped others, which is worth the bullying from men. And internalised misogynist women. But the long-term rewards will long outweigh the shit we have to deal with now, so keep fighting! And Britney, I’m so sorry you had to experience that level of ignorance.
Log in to replyI hadn’t encountered much sexism on a personal level until this year. It’s one thing reading or hearing about it and another when you actually come face to face with it in the real world. I find it hard to be articulate when I’m confronted with something that angers me this much, the rage gets in the way! Even though one bad experience can make you feel that there is no good left in the world we all know there are men out there who believe in equality and care about women’s issues, it would suck to alienate them by saying all men are terrible.
This reminded me of a couple of Rookie articles I have bookmarked because the advice was so good! Basically tips on how not to let people drive you crazy with their wrong headed views.
http://rookiemag.com/2012/11/i-am-whatever-i-say-i-am/
http://rookiemag.com/2012/11/across-the-divid/
Log in to replyBritney, I can’t believe what those people said to you. Actually, I can and do believe, but I just don’t want to. Unfortunately, life isn’t a place where, like you said, people can intelligently talk about feminism without hitting each other over the heads with folding chairs.
But I just wanted to say that you are such a strong individual and reading your article has really got me fired up (which is great, because hey it’s 4:30 am and college apps).
Often, what one needs is not what one wants, but in this case, the world sure as hell needs feminism even if many people argue otherwise.
Log in to replyStay strong Britney! These ignorant people may think they’re being funny relating to Nazis and Hitler….I think that’s disgusting. What the Nazis did is unspeakable and saying that being a feminist makes you similar to them is just so utterly ridiculous. They may be laughing now, but you’ll be laughing when people like you and so many other strong women have changed the world. (sorry, bit cheesy, but hey)
Log in to replyUh, I’m a little late to the party here (I am a LOT late to the party) but Britney I am so sorry that that happened to you!!! I was cringing all the way through reading your entry :( I think RhiaSnape above me said it best with “They may be laughing now, but you’ll be laughing when people like you and so many other strong women have changed the world.” <3
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