Ruby
The boy and I were sitting in his basement and listening to the Smiths when I got about six thousand phone calls to come home. I asked for a ride please from his mother.
We got in the back of the minivan. It was getting kind of dark and I needed to be home soon to babysit my little brother while my granddad took my sister to dance practice. The car came to a halt.
“Bye,” he said. No. I liked hanging out with him. I didn’t want to say bye.
“No, come out, I want to tell you something.”
“Walk her to the door,” said his mother. She thrives on politeness.
As we approached the door, my grandfather and my sister emerged from it.
“Bye,” he said again.
“Wait a second,” I said.
We watched them get into the car and drive off.
“Wait,” I said again, and I kissed him. And then he tried to kiss me and missed and tried again.
We hugged for a minute, and I said, “I really like you,” and so did he. And our arms unhinged and he said “thank you” or something.
I went inside to call my friends. Most of them seemed surprised that I could kiss someone without having a panic attack or prediscussing hygiene. A few said “Ugh, now I’m going to be the last one to have a first kiss.”
He called me, and we talked about nothing for a long time. I think he’s going to ask me out. I like him a lot. ♦



























YAY RUBY!
Log in to replyugh I really wanted to go to the Galentine’s Day ball but I was sick (among other things). That made me soooo jealous/sad/happy for you.
Log in to replyRUBY YAY RUBY YAY I’M HAPPY FOR YOU YAY YAY YAY
YAY Ruby!! So jealous over here, as someone who’s nearly 16 and have never even had, like, anything with a boy. Congrats!!!
Log in to replyha, me too :)
Log in to replyHa ha, me too! But I’m almost 18, and so far my relationships with boys have been limited to me crushing hard on them and nothing happening.
BUT YAY RUBY!!
Log in to replyRuby, I am so envious, but YOU GO GIRL.
Log in to replyidk, as a reader of rookie i feel strangely proud for ruby, even though i’ve never met her!
Log in to replyruby your diary entry is the sweetest thing ever!!!
Log in to replyruby i just died inside im so happy for you girl
Log in to replyRuby, i just had my first kiss with a boy i really like last night and im happy for you and im happy for me and YAY FOR HAPPINESS
Log in to replyOHMYGOSH
Log in to replyRUBY
YOU
GOT
YOUR
FIRST
KISS
OH
MY
JESUS
WHAT WAS IT LIKE?????
OH JESUS THIS BOY BETTER TREAT YOU RIGHT. AAGGGHHHH I’M SO EXCITED
It’s so awesome! And kind of like a reality show/slumber party; we get to hear all about it!
Log in to replyTONIGHT RUBY HAS BEEN INITITated into our sisterhood
Log in to replycome
ruby
tell us all about your spit swapping session with said boy
It was sweet, and I’ll make sure he does! <3 Thanks guys, I'm excited too
Log in to replyYEAH RUBY WOOOOO YOU GO GIRL!!
Log in to replyRuby, I’m so jealous — I’ve had my first kiss, but I will consider it a major event when I first kiss someone who likes the Smiths.
Log in to replyYay Ruby!!! Your guy seems awesome! And ya Britney for having fun at the ball! Yay everyone!!
Log in to replyI can really relate to your entry, Katherine. Even though its gotten better a little bit, I still feel a lot of the pain I felt in high school, but it feels really nice to know I’m not alone.
Log in to replyI really liked Katherine’s piece. It makes me think about the relationships I have with people now and will have going into university, because I hear the friends you make there are for life.
Right now I know somebody that I have to work with at an art gallery that is so strongly anti everything that I will be glad to actually not have to work with her again. No nostalgic feelings of friendships are going to be there and I know it. But at the same time it’s kinda nice.
xx Domenic
Log in to replyI’m in my last year of university now, and it’s totally weird – I found it much harder to find people to relate to at college than I ever did at home. At home everyone I knew was liberal, we all cared about human rights and climate change and stuff and agreed on like everything. And naively I was like ‘well, I’m going to a smart-people college, and you can’t really be smart and not think gay marriage or abortion or whatever is a good idea, can you?’ BUT NO. I discovered that there can be people who seem fun and nice and interesting and then suddenly they’ll say something sexist or racist and you won’t know what to do. Turns out people can be clever and articulate and just WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING, and it’s completely terrifying! Why aren’t all the smart people using their powers for good?!
Log in to replyAwhhhh I love love LOVE hearing these stories. This is super sweet!
http://fashiononfire.org
Log in to replyRUUUUUUBBBBBYYYYYY!!!!
Log in to replyYOU GO GIRL
I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU EVEN THOUGH I’VE NEVER MET YOU!
Ugh, I can relate 100% with Naomi. I’ve struggled with sad and anxious feelings for so long and even though I’m in a good place right now all I can think about is when is my sadness is going to return. Then I think that maybe I’m not actually happy because content people aren’t waiting for the hat to drop, they’re just content.
Log in to replyI’m unhappy about being happy.. what is wrong with me?
Ruby, your entry was so sweet that I had to back and read it twice :)
Log in to replyGo Ruby! :D
Log in to replyWOOHOO, RUBY!
Log in to replyWAIT BRITNEY I was there it was so much fun. I was the awkward girl in the colorful skirt and blue sweater. Being incredibly awkward. So awkward in fact. But it was nice, and I actually managed to make friends (wouldn’t have except for my buddy/date) but anyway Y’ALL SHOULD GO TO LOCAL ROOKIE PEOPLE FUNTIMES BECAUSE THEY GENERALLY ARE FUN TIMES.
Log in to replyKatherine, I swear to god I am you. I’ve been more organized this semester than I was in high school (or last semester), but it’s taken a massive effort on my part, and that’s the only thing that’s kind of changed. essentially I’m exactly like I was when I graduated, with all the same problems: laziness, complete lack of social skills, etc.
Log in to replyThanks for writing about what you’re going through, Naomi. I’ve been feeling the same way lately and it’s a bit alarming and disheartening, to say the least. It’s good to hear it put into (very nice, very accurate) words.
Log in to replyNaomi, I know exactly how you feel!
Log in to replyNaomi, thank you. You just beautifully articulated anxious feelings that I and so many others endure…it’s so good to know that I’m not alone.
Log in to replydude ruby this made me cry tears of happiness dw its my normal reaction when i get really cuted out about stuff and i got hit with a nostalgia tsunami for my first kiss
Log in to replylike the post-kiss “i really like you” was verbatim
aaaaAAAAAaaAAAAaaAAAAAaaaaa
OMG RUBY!!!
Log in to replyTHIS IS SOOOO CUTE!
Katherine, thank you so much for your honest entries. People always talk about how life is becoming so much better after you graduate high school, but for me, hardly anything has changed (and I’m almost done with university now). It makes total sense that our personalities don’t just change overnight once we’re out of high school, but all these people saying so made me hope a little… now I’m stuck in this hopeless place though, where I don’t think life is ever going to be any better. For me, too, all the pain from high school feels just as fresh as back then. I still hope for all of us feeling that way that we’ll find ways to make it better:)
Log in to replyRuby, that was precious. Probably the cutest Rookie Diary entry ever.
Log in to replyKatherine, I did that just the other day. It’s like I have to analyze everything all the time.
NICE ONE RUBY
Log in to replyAwww, Ruby!!!!!!!
Log in to replyI don’t know I get so excited when something good happens to you guys :)
Naomi and Katherine…
I can relate to your entries a lot. A year ago was the worst winter for me. I suffered from insomnia and depression and, yeah, it was really bad.
I was not writing at that time so I can’t even remember these dark months. They are like a hole…
But then, exactly a year ago, I went to the doctor and got help and therapy and medication (I don’t say that it is the right thing for everyone, but it was for me. I was not able to go to work… So I REALLY had to do something).
And then spring came and my mood got also better (yes, also because of the therapy and medication.. ). The first sunny days of the year are so beautiful. All light and warm. It will get better, I know that.
It is really brave of you to write down your feelings and to make them accessible for us. It really helps me, even now, when I am in a dark mood to know, that we can help each other and that we are not alone.
Ok, that is a long comment now. :D Basically I want to say:
I know your feelings, it will get better, don’t judge yourself ever for your feelings and enjoy every sunny minute and look forward to spring!
xo
Log in to replythis is the sweetest. like, doug funnie and patti mayonnaise sweet.
Log in to replyRuby!! That was super cool!!!! You kissed him first?? You are a real girl!!! haha
Log in to replyOh my god, Ruby! Ahhh sitting in a basement listening to the Smiths with the guy you like? Sounds absolutely perfect! Asdfghjkl yaaaay for kissing
Log in to replyaaaaahhhhhh
Ruby
your post
my heart
aaaaahhhhhh
total flashback to my first kiss…it will never stop being a lovely memory. <3
Log in to replyNaomi, I know this post is old, but I haven’t been on Rookie for a long time, and am just reading it for the first time now. Lately, I’ve been feeling very alone despite the fact that I now go to school with people every day. I’ve been drifting in and out of feeling anxious, thinking too much, etc; and wondering if that part of me is clinging on for dear life since I haven’t given it much room for a while. I haven’t checked Rookie in a while, and had forgotten what it feels like to know that someone else is going through what you are going through. I always appreciate your posts. We have very similar situations, and similar thoughts about them–although you often give me new insights into my life. Thank you.
Log in to reply